So Predictable

Why are crime shows so predictable? Why, I would love to know.

There is no hook, that I haven't seen before, no catch, no twist, nothing.

These are the blandest shows in the world.

And they could not be any more predictable! Here, here, I'll set up a quick premise.

Beginning of the show: A criminal committing a crime, most likely murder.

Beginning of the middle of the show: They get a tiny, stupid "clue."

Middle of the show: They meet the killer, but they don't know its them yet... OOOoooh, what a twist. Also, they use some high-tech piece of technology that doesn't even exist in real life. Oh real cool using this hologram thingy that can detect if this two year old corpse had ingested cabbage and bologna to clarify that the killer was either African-American (don't get all offended peeps) or see the shape and wear on his coccyx that would declare that he's a trucker. Wow, I'm really impressed you stupid fake fakey McFakerson, who lives on Fake Street.

Yeah, that's the meat of the show. SUPER amazing. (That was sarcasm by the way)

Anyways, end of the middle: They'll somehow magically find out who the killer is a get them back for questioning and to get a confession.

End: The detectives will use "reverse psychology" to get the criminal to confess. And the killer ALWAYS confesses! This is what drives me the most crazy. "I was only trying to get their attention!" "I didn't want her to marry my dad. I had to stop her somehow!" or "He left me. He can't leave me. We're eternal."

Blah, blah, blah. Seen it all before. Why are there even different crime shows? They're all the same any way. Notice how there's just different themes, but the story is the same??

Yeah, clever.

All is supposedly well in the make believe, amazing advanced technology, super awesome we get the crime solved in an hour and get a confession at the 50 minute mark on the show detectives!

I hate you.