Muffled Response

Why these days are D-bags so insistent on being even more lame than they already are?

I thought the whole idea of really loud, crappy sounding cars was a thing of the past? No?

That wasn't so ten years ago? We're still doing this? Really?

Fine.

Well the other day I had a little run-in with one of these fellas. Yes, he was a fella.

He was driving ahead of me in his early 90's Honda Civic, no joke, spray painted black, busted out rear window and driver-side window.

So at the stoplight, I pulled in front of him (because I was on my scooter, mind you.)

Light turns green, and I take of in front of him. Then, I hear this loud cat-getting-its-toenails-removed-by-way-of-a-jackhammer noise mixed with an elephant and T-Rex from Jurassic Park scream. It was so loud, but didn't even sound good.

This is the start of our "altercation." As Douche Bag Dane says, "It was on."

He speeds in front of me and we hit another read light. So I pull in front of him again because I can and of course, because I'm cool like thizzat. (Rap for "that")

And now I'm like ten cars in front of him, and I don't know how he does it, but he makes his way to right behind me and is literally 2 feet behind me. He swerves into the right lane almost clipping me, so I swerved to the left, almost crossing the yellow line into the other lanes of traffic. Then he speeds up and cuts me off! And rifles off that wretched noise and speeds away.

Moral to the story? If you don't want to be a total Douche-ski, don't have an annoying loud car.

Buy a muffler, fart face!