Scrubway

Okay, so I am really tired of seeing Jared Fogle on my TV screen. He should not be on commercials anymore.

I don't care that he dropped 230 pounds or 26 waist sizes.

In fact, I liked him better when he was fat, or for lack of a better term, chubbsie. He looked jolly and super friendly, now he just looks like a narcissistic jerk! I hope he's donating to Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig (Is that still around) or something, because he's probably making boo koo buck.

Everyone knows he didn't just eat Subway for 3 years or whatever, 3 meals a day, 7 days a week. I know that little fatty snuck in some McDonalds pies in there somewhere, or a Blizzard from DQ. Oh man, those are delicious treats. Plus those pies at Mickey D's are only like 2 for $1 or something? Fantastic deal. I also like the Hot Fudge Sundaes they offer as well, those are delicious and priced amazingly. Nothing really tops a Blizzard from DQ. Like a Snickers Blizzard or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard? And if someone else says they love Cookie Dough Blizzards, they are crazy and I will lash out and punch a window. That cookie dough tastes like sandy little sugar balls that were the crappy part of the cookie dough, ya know? The part that was crusted over on the side of the bowl with leftover egg and some unknown crunchies. Disgusting.

ANYWAYS.

Jared is crazy, and needs to be stopped. Subway is delicious, I'll give them that. HOWEVER, Jared is done. He doesn't make me want to eat Subway anymore.

Now here's a great idea for Subway. Have Jared go on a year long fattening mission, by eating McDonalds and Burger King and Wendys and KFC etc. Like a Super Size Me 2.0.

Then, have him lose the weight again. Then, he will be like a Sandwich Superhero. Call him the Submarine Supreme. Awww yeeeeah.

Also, as shown by South Park, we all know that Jared had aids to help him lose weight.

Oh... what? He had AIDES? Oh. Okay. Right. Good for him..