Hey, we're number 1!!!

No, you're not.

Okay, maybe you are. But its majorly skewed.

Why do these television production companies, namely CBS, say they have the number 1 show, number 1 comedy, number 1 drama, number 1 network?

YOU DON'T!!

The numbers say you do, but you and I know what's really going on here. I know. I can see right through you CBS.

Do you know why these numbers say that you have the number 1 everything? Because everyone who owns a TV, by default, has CBS.

Even the Eskimos up in freaky-deaky Alaska or the prisoners out in Guantanamo have this stupid network.

Any network that can have literally the same shows in different cities are complete nincompoops. Period

Example: CSI (Las Vegas), CSI: Miami!!!, CSI: New York!!!

Another Example: NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, baby!

And, AND! If your number 1 comedy is Two and a half men? Oh boy... This is sad. Charlie Sheen you are not the funniest man in America because your network gives you distorted figures.

Oh, how's about another example? You the WORST and MOST FAKE reality game show in the world titled Survivor. It wouldn't be as bad, but you have an indoor twin called Big Brother.

CBS, who are you kidding saying that these shows are different? They are not. They have the same premise, same rules, same everything. Probably filmed on the same set.

Maybe they're geniuses or just lucky. Or maybe just to give themselves false hope that people actually like their shows. When in reality their shows are watched by people escaping their terrible lives.

You SUCK.

Liars.